Everyone might have their own favorite place that make them feel excited or comfortable. I have a place that I go whenever I am stressed out and feel down. That place is Jungnangcheon which is the one of the longest tributary of Han River. It starts from Yangju and its length is about 20km. it has many facilities for residents such as trail, cycle lane, basketball court. The story between the Jungnangcheon and me begin in 2007.
In 2007, I was a freshmen and I was living alone near the campus. It was the first time that I lived alone so everything was awkward for me. At that time I joined the basket ball team and we often went there to play basketball together. Since I felt lonely and gloomy when I was alone at home, I was really happy and excited at there. It was the first time we met together. From this moment, I have always like that place. Next year I got a girl friend for a first time. we went there for a walk together and sometimes we drank beer sitting by the river. We spent many times together at the Jungnangcheon. It was also unforgettable time for me.
Nowadays, whenever I am stress out and feel down, I go Jungnangcheon for running. after running 5km along the river, I feel refresh and much better than before. Sometime I go there with my puppies and they also love there. Jungnangcheon has been always there like best friend and cheer me up whenever I feel lonely. Thus Jungnangcheon is my best place that make me happy and I will never forget that place.
From Rho ryun to Changhee Lee
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay? Be as specific as possible.
The information that there are many facilities such as trail, cycle lane, and basketball court in Jungnangchoen is what I like best in this essay. It is great information for me because I also need to find somewhere that could bring me a peace. I know that river is located not that far from HUFS. I will visit there near future when I feel stuffy.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly? List any parts that were not clear to you.
It looks pretty clear. I could imagine how the river looks in my head.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
No. the writer did not appeal to the different senses.
"I feel refresh" is the only part that I could find.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
It's peaceful and also cheerful sometimes when he played basketball.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
I think that because the place he wrote about brings peace in his mind, he chose to write about this place.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises? Make only one suggestion.
I recommend you to add more sensory words. This essay is not bad for transferring the information to the readers. But if you use similes or sensory words, it must be better.
201203511 Choe Kyung-Yo
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay?
I like the way he talks about his feeling at that time, which sounds so honest to me. I also like the part that gives me some information on why this place is important to him.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly?
I think at least about visual depiction, he did.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
I think "I feel refresh" is the only part that shows sensory detail.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
Fresh, lively, and peaceful.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
It's because that place gave him a lot of happy memories about such as, basketball games with his club members or dating her girl friend. In this way it helped him escape from his loneliness.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises?
I think it would be better if you use more sensory words. You only described its scenery. I would like you to describe its smell and sound.