My nephew Sae-ram
His name is Sae-ram, now at 9, in second grade. He is my nephew who is the second son of my younger sister. Believe or not, I feel he has the most innocent, naive, and cute look on the face, among all the children around the world, especially when smiling. I have never seen the innocent smile like that, which still held ancient mysteries. From the very early stage of life, he has been notorious for his popularity.
I have one of abysmally funny stories about the notoriety that my nephew has experienced. When he went to kindergarten, around at the age 5 or 6, all the attention was focused onto him in the classroom. He monopolized the popularity of not only girls but also boys. Girls were almost always under stress of not being a partner with Sae-ram. Some girls who had failed to be chosen were crying, and other boys who had seen the situation right earlier were a little at a loss about what was going on in an absent-minded way. That's because there were so many girls in the class who were desperate for the love of Sae-ram, but he needed only one partner, a severe imbalance between demand and supply. The teacher had to spend much time sweating handling this kind of mess rather than focusing on the schooling. Then, after some time, some parents of girls, upset and annoyed, went to the kindergarten in person, saying, "Who on earth is Sae-ram? I want to see him. My daughter is always depressed and frustrated after school. She is crying for some reason. Do you know why?"
This Chuseok, the family of my younger sister visited my place. We had a fun time getting together. But I didn't know that he changed a lot in the physical appearance. Surprisingly, He had a beer belly, which seemed so funny for his age. Immediately, my curiosity started to be actuated. I Grabbed him tightly deep into my chest to make sure he couldn't escape from me or move around in the presence of his parents. His parents couldn't rescue him from me because of the seriousness of the situation. Pointing out and fiddling about with the belly which was innocently and haphazardly protruded, I started to torture him, questioning like detectives in an angry and serious tone, "What in the world is this?", but he couldn't answer properly because he was just 9, and if he had wanted to find out the answer to my metaphysical and philosophical question, he would have needed much time. Once again humiliatingly, I asked, "What is this? Why did you bring this?" Still difficult question. But I could feel that he was trying more than his best to find the answer, thinking gloatingly to myself, "He is still funny and naive." And then another question followed, "What is in the belly?" This time, he happily answered because he thought that he finally got the answer, "The food", "Ha Ha Ha Ha", We all laughed ourselves to death.
On the surface, he is a mere child, but he is more than a child. He is good-natured and tender-hearted from birth. For example, He has an older brother who is called Ha-ram at 10. They are getting along together playing games. When Sae-ram loses the game, he isn't affected by the results, still calm, but when Ha-ram loses the game, he feels severely agonized, losing his temper. Not only that, he has many good qualities.
201001081/Rho ryun/ peer comment
ReplyDelete1. What do you like about this essay?
I like this essay because of the vivid description of your nephew “sae-ram”. And there are many figurative expressions that I like. “Ancient mystery” and “supply and demand” like expressions can be the answer.
2. What one word would you choose to describe Sae-ram’s character? What specific information in the draft caused you to choose this word?
I will choose “cute” to describe his character. Because of the information about how he looks. You did not directly mention about specific information about this appearance, but sill, I could imagine how he looks through your expressions.
3. List any places where you do not understand the writer’s meaning.
It is pretty clear. But there are some words which are too difficult for me. It will be great if you use easy words. The overall tone is not quite harmonious.
4. What do you notice about the organization of the essay? For example, is the number of paragraphs appropriate? How could the writer improve the organization of the essay?
To add, don’t you think the fourth paragraph is too long? Third paragraph’s too.
5. What would you like to know more about?
I think, your last paragraph give an impression that the story is not finished yet. To be more specific, I think your last paragraph is not a good ending.
6. Who do you think would be interested in reading this essay?
I think a person who has nephew or niece will be interested.
From Jeong Hae Joong 201003224
ReplyDelete1. his nephew is a "Justin Bieter"-popular boy in his classroom. He's innocent, too.
2. In his classroom, so many girls wanted to be a partner with him.
the answer from his nephew was "food" is quite fun and adorable.
3. the nephew has a beer-belly.
"food" is what he said.
he's quite calm after losing the game. it's like he is even-tempered.
4. i think that i got the point of this paper, but when i read the first paragraph, i didn't get the picture of it. what? notorious for popularity? i don't know how much popular you need to be notorious?
5. the writer loves his nephew so much. i can feel how much he loves the child.
6. i think i didn't get enough descriptions of his nephew. you know, i feel like almost half of this paper is about just how famous the nephew is. i would be pleased if the writer talks about what he is like by giving some examples.