I want to introduce a place where I set a goal in my life. I traveled Thailand for about two months before I joined the Army. Among the many places, Koh Tao, the island located 15 hours away from Bangkok was the most memorable. At first, the main purpose of visiting there was to enjoy the "Full-moon party" which was a club party in the beach when full-moon rose. As soon as I arrived at the island, I could feel the enthusiasm. It was literally hot. The weather was hot, the atmosphere was hot and people were hot, too. Many languages were mixed and it covered the whole island.
Because of the room price was too expensive in the beach where the party was going to be held, I decided to get a room in another beach. I had to take a long-tail boat. It took only five minutes to get there. Although I was exhausted at that time because of the 15 hours trip, the combination of clear sky, warm weather, and sparkling surface of the ocean was enough to make me excited. Even the oil smell from the long-tail boat was cheerful. I got a log cabin with only 10$ per day in the beach named "Hot Yao". It was cheap but the setup inside was fancy enough for me. The inside of the log cabin was filled with smell of wood and it was cozy.
The next day, I woke up with birds' singing. No alarm clock was needed. I did not even wash up because the ocean opened its arms to clean me up. It was only 30 seconds to reach there on foot. Words were not enough to describe how beautiful the beach was. Sand covered my feet softly. The Sun warmed sea water perfectly for me. Fishy smell of the ocean encouraged me to swim. After swimming there, I read books on the beach chair with some smoothies or cocktails. After reading books, I watched movie with guests staying there. If the heaven really exists, it must be there. I was burning my 22's summer on the beautiful island, Koh Tao.
One day, I was lying down on a hammock which was hung between palm trees right in front of the beach. I was meditating by staring the red face of the Sun. The flaming sunset forced me to be sensitive. The only sounds that I could hear were the cry of the seagull and the sound of the waves. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be in the nature's musical. Many thoughts passed by. They ranged from my identity to the poverty problem of the world. Suddenly, all of my thoughts were connected. That was "How can I bring joy to others".
I realized that I was too self-concentrated at that time. In other words, to live my life only for me, I could not notice people around me. With the thoughts as a momentum, I have changed in many ways. I started to help people who less favored than me. Also, I made my mind to become a diplomat so that I could help people not only in my country but also in other countries. I finally found my supreme goal in my life.
These days, I am literally burning myself to realize my goal. The beautiful beach in Koh Tao made me to finish hesitating and worrying about my future. It fueled me to have passion and it upgraded my depth of thinking. It was my turning point. That's why the island Koh Tao is meaningful for me. When I finish realizing my long-term goal, I hope I can revisit the Koh Tao again and find my 20s' hesitations and worries that I left in my 22's summer.
201102861 Huyoung Lee
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay? Be as specific as possible.
I was very impressed with your "decision" story. It was like a Buddha who came to realize the truth of life. And I empathized with the story because I had a similar experience. It's not about the decision or the dreams but the "realize" thing. I have always wanted to be rich, in whatever way, but suddenly one day it came to me that it might not be very happy to just pursue money, when I was having ramen. It's ridiculous... What does the ramen have to do with not pursuing money anyway? Well I just reminded of my "realize" day reading your story. I think it's very encouraging to those people who are wandering around without making a firm decision.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly? List any parts that were not clear to you.
I think you well described the place. Good and fair use of sensory expressions.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
You used various sensory expressions. What I liked were:
"The inside of the log cabin was filled with smell of wood and it was cozy."
"Many languages were mixed and it covered the whole island."
I could vividly imagine the scene thanks to the descriptions.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
It's enthusiatic, cheerful, noisy but also peaceful and calm.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
Because it was a turning point of his life. He said he has changed in many ways, which is good for him. I think the experience in the island made him mentally grow up. Was it the mysterious power of the nature... I don't know. But I think he has earned a very important thing through his journey.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises? Make only one suggestion.
Why don't you put a fancy title on your writing?
201203511 Choe Kyung-Yo
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay?
He used a lot of sensory words so it was really easy to picture and feel the place.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly?
He really did.
3. Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List two sensory details that you especially liked.
It was so hard for me to choose only two parts, because he used various sensory words.
"The weather was hot, the atmosphere was hot and people were hot, too."
- This is particularly good because of its rhyme.
"I was meditating by staring the red face of the Sun."
- "The red face" shows well how hot and intense the Sun was.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere of this place?
Blissful, Peaceful, and Cozy.
5. Why do you think the writer chose to write about this place?
It's because not only was Koh Tao beautiful, but it also helped him take a time for self-examination and find his supreme goal. His time there was a turning point, he said.
6. How could the writer improve this essay when he or she revises?
Everything was good to me, but I felt kind of dramatic when he talks about his self-reflection part that sounds a little serious. If he separates the fourth paragraph so that the development of his essay feels less dramatic, I think it would be better.