Saturday, September 21, 2013

Dabida Kang/ chapter 2/ Tue 11a.m.

 

"Don't forget to bring some of your photos or an album to the class" My teacher said when the school finally ended.

 

I was a 9-year-old girl. I came back home running. "Mommy! My teacher said I have to bring some photos or an album." I almost screamed to my mom. "Why don't you bring the whole album I kept since you were born, so that your teacher and friends can see how cute you were when you were little?" That was really good idea. My mom used to tell me my child stories of which I grew fond. The pictures were the greatest storyteller.

 

"Okay! I'll bring it!" The album was covered a soft red velvet, with about 20 pages. There was more than 4 photos of me per one page with all the girlish decoration and little memos my mother put inside. Many pictures meant more stories to talk with my teacher and friends.

 

There was one problem. The album was too big and heavy for someone like me. It was bigger than my school bag and. So I had to carry this giant thing with my arm. It was even hard for me to stand with it for few minutes. It felt like more than 10kgs even though it actually weighed 2kgs.

 

Next morning, I had this strange feeling, which was the excitement at once and the anxiousness; the excitement to share the pictures and the anxiousness to bring the heavy album to school. But the excitement outstripped the anxiousness.

 

It was autumn. The weather was so good. I could feel the soft wind. I was filled with all the hopes and excitements for the compliment I would get for bringing the big album. But in reality, my arms started to have pins and needles. The more I walked forward, the more pain I felt around my arms. I had to stop walking by few walks to relax my arms.

 

My grammar school was located beyond a traditional market. The market appeared after walking by a bumpy road for about 8 minutes. Entering the market, I passed a series of Tteokbokki stores. Turning left and passing by the baker's, the shoes shop, some stationary stores and the pharmacy, I crossed a street and finally the school came in sight. The school couldn't be more pleasure one to see ever.  

 

"Teacher! Here's my album. I brought this all way down to school!"

"Oh my god. Why did you bring this? You totally got this wrong. I said to bring few photos or a small album. You could have made a small album with some photos, if you really wanted to bring one."

All my classmates laughed. Having said those, she did not even take a look at my album. Imagine how a little girl felt after the long journey to school? I felt like my whole world was tearing down. Realizing all the thing I had done was in vein really broke my heart.  

 

It was my first time to learn what disappointment is. This heartbreaking experience had remained in my memory till I grew up older. The very first lesson to learn'the world isn't the way you imagine it to be'.

 

3 comments:

  1. To Dabida from Jieun

    1. What I liked about this piece of writing was that every descriptions were so vivid that I could imagine every scenes while reading through your essay. I once again realized how much specific description is important in writing.

    2. Your main point seems to be the first moment you felt disappointment.

    3. Such expressions like "soft red velvet, with about 20 pages. ", "I could feel the soft wind", "my arms started to have pins and needles." were very helpful for me to draw the scenes in my mind.

    4. "It was bigger than my school bag and. So..." I thought something would be continued after the word "and", but the sentence just got over there, so I was a bit confused.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Huyoung Lee From Kim Kap Whan Assignment for Sep 24th

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is that this writing describes what happened emotionally and vividly.
    2. Your main point seems to be the first moment of disappointment and embarrassment accordingly.
    3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: Words or lines I like them are like this; "Teacher! Here's my album. I brought this all way down to school!"
    "Oh my god. Why did you bring this? You totally got this wrong. I said to bring few photos or a small album. You could have made a small album with some photos, if you really wanted to bring one."
    All my classmates laughed.
    Because these lines display a dramatic reversal through a direct narration.
    4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively): Lines or parts Need improving.
    I feel that overall, the writing is well organized and well written. It is excellent. But a trivial thing.
    The album was covered a soft red velvet, with about 20 pages.
    → The album was covered with a soft red velvet, with about 20 pages.
    5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is the same as question 4.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kang Dabida/ Second draft

    “Don’t forget to bring your photos or an album to the class” yelled the teacher to the air.

    No one seemed to listen to her. It was due probably to their aspiration of getting back home as quickly as possible. I was a 9-year-old girl. When the school bell finally rang sonorously, I rushed to home with innocent excitement. “Mommy! My homework is to bring some photos or an album!” I almost screamed to my mom. “an album? Hmm…” she seemed to think. “How about bringing the whole album I’ve kept since you were born? Your teacher and friends will see how cute you were when you were little.” She said with the usual benign smile on her face. That was a really good idea. My mom liked to tell me my child stories which I grew fond of. The pictures are always the greatest storyteller.

    “Okay! I’ll bring it!” The album had nearly 20 pages, covered with a soft red velvet fabric. More than 4 pictures of younger me were put up per one page, along with all the girlish decoration and little memos my mother wrote for me. More pictures meant more stories to share with my teacher and friends.

    Everything seemed perfect, except for one problem. The album was too big and heavy for four feet four inch girl. It was bigger than my school bag pack itself. All this meant I had to carry this giant, holding onto my little arms. I tried holding it to see how long I can stand the weight, only to figure out 5 minutes is the maximum at best.

    Next morning, I had this strange feeling, which was the excitement at once and the anxiousness: the excitement to share the pictures to the class and the anxiousness to bring the heavy album to school. But the excitement outstripped the anxiousness.

    It was autumn. The weather was so good. I could feel the soft wind. I was filled with all the hopes and excitements for the compliment I would get for bringing this big album. Before long, however, my arms started to have the pins and needles. The more I walked forward, the more pain I felt around my arms. I had to stop walking by few steps to relax my arms.

    My grammar school was located beyond a traditional market. After walking by a bumpy road for about 8 minutes, the market slowly appeared. Entering the market, I passed a series of Tteokbokki stores. The smell of spicy and sweet red Tteokbokki with the cloud-like steam on it distracted me for a while. Turning left and passing by the baker’s, the shoes shop, some stationary stores and the pharmacy, I crossed a street and finally the school came in sight. The school couldn’t be more pleasure one to see ever.

    “Teacher! Here’s my album. I brought this all way down to school!”
    “Oh my gosh? Why did you bring this? You totally got this wrong. I said to bring few photos or a small album. You could have made a small album with some photos, if you really wanted to bring one.”

    All my classmates laughed. Having said those, she did not even take a look at my album. Imagine how a little girl felt, after the long and backbreaking journey to school? I felt like my whole world was tearing down. Realizing all the thing I had done was in vein really broke my heart.

    The rest of the day stays in my memory as few fragmented scenes: walking back home with the droopy shoulders, the crying moment in front of my parents, their sad faces. Now I am 25-year-old grown-up. Looking back, it was my first time to learn what disappointment really meant. This heartbreaking experience had haunted me until I grew up older. The very first lesson to learn, ‘the world isn’t always the way you imagine it to be’.

    ReplyDelete