Saturday, September 21, 2013

Lo Yun Seo/201101117/week3,Chapter 2/Tuesday 11 a.m.

<The Most Horrible Movie, E.T.>

 

 

“Whoa! I really want to fly like E.T.!” My brother and I cried at the top of our voice at the same time. I was five year old and my elder brother was four year elder. The day was New Year’s day that is one of the most biggest holiday in Korea. In the morning of the day, whole family members were wake early to perform ancestral rites. After holding a memorial service for my ancestors, all four family members who are father, mother, brother and I started to watch TV, idly sipping a cool drink.

 

   

There was a trivial argument between my father and brother. My father wanted to watch news programs but brother desired to see a TV movie. At the end of the argument, our channel was tune in the 22 which showed on Movie materials because of concession of my father. In that channel, E.T. was got. As my brother and I were very curious young children at that time, we could not help loving with this movie. It was a wonder for me to meet extraterrestrial life in the movie for the first time in my life!

 

 

 “Hey, guys, have you already watched that movie on the last Thanks giving day? Is it funny?”

 My parents went to bed, giving a big yawn. Because I was really into that movie, I did not hear what they said. I was attracted by the lure of all the sights of that film. I believed that I were a friend of E.T. so I felt deeply that I was one of the main character of the film. Whenever I saw the scenes of high-spirits and jollity, I thought that I was on cloud nine. Otherwise, whenever I watched sad scenes, I was crying and crying. So I cried and laughed by turns during watching that movie.  

 

 

     Buy the way, the last scene was big deal to our brother and sister. In the last scene, E.T. ,which rose from the dead, went back to its home with a spacecraft. After watching that scene, we said at the top of our voice simultaneously. : “Whoa! I really want to fly like E.T.!”

 “Brother, is it possible for us to fly the sky with a bicycle with a number of balloons?”

“Of course, if we pedal vigorously on a bicycle, we can fly the sky enough.”

With coming up with concrete ways of enhancing a realistic possibility, we were sure that we would fly the sky.  

 

 

On the day, my parents were so tired that they have already fallen into a deep sleep. So they did not recognize our silly idea. My brother and I put the idea into practice. We stood a window ledge of my living room with the bicycle which was surrounded by a bunch of balloons. Then, I jumped into the outside to fly the sky like E.T. right away.

 

 

 

 “Pedal much vigorously, and quickly! Faster! Faster as much as you can.”

My brother shouted to me and I did our best. However, we could not oppose gravity. We fell to the ground! Fortunately, my house was the second floor, so we did not get hurt much. I had broken my arm and my brother had broken his leg. Therefore, we were in the hospital for a week.  

 

 

Parents were so shocked that mother kelp crying, while my father looked pale. After that experience, E.T. has become one of the most horrible movie to all my family members. My parents still get goose bumps whenever we see the E.T. from a Television. Therefore, the movie of E.T. is the most fearful movie to our family, even though that film is one of the greatest production to other people.

 

3 comments:

  1. To Lo Yun Se From Kang Dabida

    1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you organized paragraphs into several parts, which are very readable. Your writing totally dragged my attention from 5th paragraph. I could imagine how you and your brother put the flying thing on the bike into practice.

    2. Your main point seems to be one of the rarest experiences you had in the childhood.

    3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
    I like ‘I was on cloud nine’ because it was an idiom I wasn’t familiar with.

    This expression ‘We could not oppose gravity’ had me imagined what happened to you and your brother without you saying ‘we fell down’

    I also like ‘pedal vigorously on a bicycle’. To me, ‘pedal’ seemed more nouns, yet using it as a verb made me picture the movements.

    4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear,
    supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively):
    “Hey, guys, have you already watched that movie on the last Thanks giving day?” need improving because this is a situation your father asks you a question while you and your brother are watching the movie. To me, it sounded a bit strange to ask this question to those who are already doing it. It might better be ‘haven’t you already watched …?’

    ‘The last scene was big deal to our brother and sister’ also seemed to need improving. In the first sentence, you mentioned that your family members are father, mother, brother and you. All of sudden, an unknown sister came out and it made me confused.

    5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to change the order of your writing a little bit. I believe so, because the best funny part of your writing is almost in the end. Telling this clumsy experience in the beginning or middle might give readers more chances to get absorbed into your story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To Lo Yun Seo From Kim Kap Whan Assignment for Sep 24th
    1. What I like about this piece of writing is that the write can describe comically and vividly the childhood experience that everybody would have had.
    2. Your main point seems to be monumental stupidity and childlikeness that the writer have had.
    3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful: Words or lines I like is like this;
    “Pedal much vigorously, and quickly! Faster! Faster as much as you can.”
    My brother shouted to me and I did our best. However, we could not oppose gravity. We fell to the ground! Fortunately, my house was the second floor, so we did not get hurt much. I had broken my arm and my brother had broken his leg. Therefore, we were in the hospital for a week.
    Because these lines dramatically maximize the absurdity and naivete of childhood.
    4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, writing not lively): Lines or parts Need improving
    Some major concerns. A few grammatical disorders were founded;
    one of the most biggest holiday → one of the most biggest holidays
    wake → awake; the word wake can not be used in an adjective form
    our channel was tune in the 22 → our channel was tuned in the 22
    because of concession of my father → as a result of a concession of my father
    help loving with this movie → help loving this movie
    It was a wonder → It would be a wonder
    one of the main character → one of the main characters
    big deal to → a big deal to
    fly the sky → fly in the sky; No matter how powerful and invincible you could be, you can’t fly the sky.
    We stood a window ledge → We stood at a window ledge
    I had broken my arm and my brother had broken his leg.
    → I had broken my arm and my brother, his leg; useless repetition of words.
    .....
    5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is like this; Overall, the writer succeeded in conveying the childhood experience and emotion. But the grammar and structure left much to be desired.

    ReplyDelete



  3. “Whoa! I really want to fly like E.T.!” My brother and I cried at the top of our voice at the same time. I was five year old and my elder brother was four year elder. The day was New Year’s day, which is one of the most biggest holidays in Korea. In the morning of the day, all family members were awake early to perform ancestral rites. After holding a memorial service for ancestors, all four family members who are father, mother, brother and I started to watch TV, idly sipping a cool drink.


    There was a trivial argument between my father and brother. My father wanted to watch a news program but brother desired to see a TV movie. At the end of the argument, our channel was tuned in the 22 which showed on Movie materials as a result of a concession of my father. In that channel, the movie of E.T. was got. As my brother and I were very curious young children at that time, we could not help loving this movie. It was a wonder for me to meet extraterrestrial life in the movie for the first time in my life!


    “Hey, guys, haven’t you already watched that movie on the last Thanks giving day? Is it funny?”

    My parents went to bed, giving a big yawn. Because I was really into that movie, I did not hear what they said. I was attracted by the lure of all the sights of that film. I believed that I were a friend of E.T. so I felt deeply that I was one of the main characters of the film. Whenever I saw the scenes of high-spirits and jollity, I thought that I was on cloud nine. Otherwise, whenever I watched sad scenes, I cried drops of tears. So I cried and laughed by turns during watching that movie.


    Buy the way, the last scene was a big deal to our brother and sister. In the last scene, E.T , which rose from the dead, went back to its home with a spacecraft. After watching that scene, we said at the top of our voice simultaneously.

    “Whoa! I really want to fly like E.T.!”

    “Brother, is it possible for us to fly to the sky with a bicycle with a number of balloons?”

    “Of course, if we pedal vigorously on a bicycle, we can fly the sky enough.”

    With coming up with concrete ways for enhancing a realistic possibility, we were sure that we would fly in the sky.


    On the day, my parents were so tired that they have already fallen into a deep sleep. So they did not recognize our silly idea. My brother and I put the idea into practice. We stood at a window ledge of the living room with the bicycle which was surrounded by a bunch of balloons. Then, I jumped into the outside to fly in the sky like E.T. right away.




    “Pedal much vigorously, and quickly! Faster! Faster as possible as you can be.”

    My brother shouted to me and I did my best. However, we could not oppose gravity. We fell to the ground! Fortunately, my house was the second floor, so we did not get hurt much. I had broken my arm and my brother, his leg. Therefore, we were in the hospital for a week.


    Parents were so shocked that mother kelp crying, while my father looked pale. After that experience, E.T. has become one of the most horrible movies to all my family members. My parents still get goose bumps whenever we see the E.T. from a Television. Therefore, the movie of E.T. is the most fearful movie to our family, even though that film is one of the greatest productions to normal people.

    ReplyDelete